life – Vostak

The Valley – Part 3

The valley was so large that Sevir, while looking at it from the south end, could only see an outline of the mountains in the north. There was also, in fact, a large portion of the valley that Sevir could not see. It was hidden behind the mountains as a result of the valley’s bean-like shape. What Sevir did see, however, was enough to amaze him.

In the west, the land was hidden beneath a lush green blanket. A large forest lay at the base of the mountain range on the west, as though a sea. Its emerald waves rolled over into the center of the valley in between the high places and hills, which stood as an island amongst the trees. These highlands at the center of the valley divided it in two, as though a painter decided to put in a swath of brown, gray and yellow in the middle of his painting. The woods swept under these hills in the south, and came around to the east. What was left of the land was endless green fields in the north and northeast, nestled against the looming mountains. The orange hues of eventide covered a portion of the sky, whilst beams of gold danced across the mountains’ white peaks.

The valley was full of life. More so than Sevir would have expected. Across the fields in the north, and among the hills in the middle of the valley, several columns of smoke had sprung up from the ground and trailed off into the sky. Sevir stood dumbfounded for a moment. His heart almost stopped, and then began to beat so fast that he felt dizzy and lightheaded. He felt a rush and a whirlwind of emotions, filled with an almost childlike bewilderment and curiosity. He got carried away with excitement and almost slipped off the edge of the cliff he was standing on. The precarious moment which could have quickly proven perilous was like a slap in the face. While letting out his breath and clearing his mind, Sevir took a step back and rooted his feet in the ground.

Though he had reached the valley, he was not yet completely over the pass. He stood on the cliff with the gorge he was in before on his left, opening out into the valley before him. It was a fifty-foot drop down to the ground, and there wasn’t really any other way to come down. Once again, Sevir found himself stuck between a rock and an abyss.

He needed to survey the face of the cliff to see if he could climb down it. Once again, he approached the edge, only this time he did it right – on his knees. The cliff was a mixture of smooth and ragged stone. It would be difficult to climb down, with there being few crevices in the rock. It wasn’t impossible, however, and Sevir was determined to make it down. Led on by his curiosity and excitement, he was consumed by a sense of urgency and a need to make haste. Abandoning his reason and sense of time, he failed to notice the darkness which loomed over the valley. Sevir began climbing down the side of the cliff just as the sun was hiding behind the mountains.

The Valley – Part 1

The sun was beating down upon the mountaintops. The snow capped peaks gleamed and shimmered above a sea of fog. Or was it clouds? One would not be able to tell. This was not so much a mountain range, as simply a land of mountains. From a bird’s eye view, it was all mountains to the east, north, and west, save for a large valley to the north. Of course, Sevir saw none of this. He was making his way through the mountains along a narrow cliff. All he saw was the stream far down at the bottom, his feet on the narrow ledge, the cliff face before him, and the crevices in which he placed his hands.

Sevir felt his pulse in his head and his heart pounding in his chest. He constantly had to adjust his grip because his hands were sweaty. His arms and feet felt heavy. His breath was weak and unsteady. He felt as though he could fall already. Though just moments ago, he thought that he was ready to scale the cliff. As he crept along the ledge, Sevir tried his best to occupy his mind. His thoughts carried him off of the cliff, out of the mountains, and back to the village he once called home.

Many called Sevir a fool for leaving his village, which was nestled under the Great Mountains. It had been common wisdom for centuries that there was nothing beyond the mountains but more mountains. Sevir, however, figured that he had no choice. Though there was much space to build new homes, there was no room for Sevir in the village. Not anymore.

Over the span of a few years, Sevir observed the Head Council become skewed and misguided in their thinking. Faithful laborers were ignored and cast aside in favor of agreeable yes-men. Decisions were made not to benefit the village’s families but for the ego and pride of those in charge. Though the Head Council claimed otherwise, it was clear that everything they did served no purpose other than gaining more resources and growing in their status. Perhaps, on the surface, it appeared that the village was prospering. Growing more into a town than a village. But in Sevir’s eyes, even if the village really was growing, it was all for the wrong reasons.

It came to a point that Sevir decided he had had enough. He figured that he would rather risk his life in search of a different home for his family than continue serving those that had abused him and others in their bid for glory. And so, Sevir found himself in the mountains. He was cold, he was hungry, and he was afraid. Yet he pressed on.

He slowly shimmied along until he reached a point where the ledge came to a natural rocky terrace. It overlooked the stream and greenery below. Though far safer than what came before it, it was a small opening and didn’t lead anywhere. How he would continue, Sevir had no idea. He decided to rest and spend the night at this spot as he figured that a solution might come to him in the morning. In the meantime, he was content to eat a morsel of bread and enjoy the view.

Of Chess and Life

Another old poem. This is a short one from a couple years ago. It’s a bit edgy, but I like it.

Of Chess and Life:

Oh how comforting and peaceful

To be enslaved by the dance

While pondering the next move

Within its’ world entranced

.
Heated with passion

Ruthlessly cold

In defensive fashion

Aggressively bold

.
Predicting in vain

How your plans will unfold

Ridiculous pleasure

Agony untold

Nikolay Terekhin

The Bench

I wrote this poem in March of 2020. Some time has passed since then, and I have grown a lot. Both in skill and in character. There are some things that I would change about the poem to make it better, but I’ve decided to share it unaltered. Let it serve as something to compare my more current poems to.

The point is quite simple – it is a reminder that sometimes you need to slow down and live the moment. Be present where you are, and see the beauty in the world around you.

I walked along a winding path

In tense anticipation

I saw a bench, and moved on past

No time for static contemplation

“I needs must know what lies ahead”

My rationale dictated

It rang so loud within my head

All other thoughts were faded

I felt uneasy and perplexed

And both my hands were shaking

At every turn I was so vexed

My will and body almost breaking

The trees were rushing past me

Like walls on left and right

My breath was ragged – ghastly

Each step became a vicious fight

At last, there came a breaking point

I could not carry on

I felt a flame in every joint

All of my strength was gone

And then I fell, in agony

Submitting to the wind

It seemed a dire tragedy

With rage, my heart was filled

I lay there, empty, flaccid

Ready to despair

The dirt, it felt like acid

None of this felt fair

Then I let myself release

And simply lay in waiting

And out of nowhere, I felt peace

My pain and wrath abating

I saw a world of beauty

Around me, everywhere

Remembering my duty

I breathed the fresh, clean, air

It filled my lungs with fire

It gave me strength and life

I stood again, but higher

Forgetting all my strife

I turned around and shuffled

Looking all around

I was completely baffled

By what I had just found

I realized the green and blue

The branches and the stems

I saw the world completely new

As filled with precious gems

And then I found the bench again

And entered its’ embrace

It was to me a good old friend

Reminding me of grace

-Nikolay Terekhin

We Came, We Saw, We Loved – Part 2

I was beginning to feel a little woozy, and there was a sensation of dry emptiness in my throat. The kind of feelings you experience when you are hungry and tired. I parked my van in an Applebee’s parking lot, grabbed my lunchbox from the floor, and began my meal. I cannot recall what it was that I had for lunch that day, but I know that I didn’t pay much attention to the food or how it tasted. I plowed through my lunch and guzzled down a bottle of water. All the while, my thoughts were elsewhere. My mind kept circling around the next day, and the day following that.

It was a Friday afternoon, and I was taking my lunch break. The next day, Saturday, I was going to visit my friend and his wife for a sleepover and some quality time together. We haven’t had an opportunity to spend time together for a while, and I was excited to see them. The day after that, I was going to leave their apartment to drive two hours north. I was going to go on a date.

It didn’t take long before I asked Nadia out on a date. We began texting back and forth the day after we met. And then the day after that, and the day after that. We had some engaging conversations, and I was able to see a glimpse of what she was like – her character and personality; and, I liked what I was seeing. I didn’t see a point to just texting for long or “being friends first.” After all, we lived two and a half hours away from each other. So on the fourth day I asked her out on a date. After asking for her parents’ permission (which made me like her even more), she agreed. And so on Sunday, a week after we met, we were going to have our first date.

My plan was to take her out to a sushi place in downtown Bellingham (the city where she lived with her parents) and then go for a walk. My mind was racing with thoughts about Nadia and about the monumental day to come. I was nervous about whether she’d like me, and worried about whether I’d like her. I thought about all our past conversations over text, and about what kind of person she was. I thought about how to act and speak, and what not to do. And, despite my attempts to not do so, I daydreamed of where this could take us both.

As I finished my lunch, I wiped off my hands and mouth, and ignited the engine. Switching the gear to “drive,” I kept thinking about Nadia. She was such a mystery to me. I lifted my foot off of the brake pedal. I remembered the way she smiled at me on the day we met. I began turning the steering wheel to turn out of my parking spot onto the road. I wondered whether she felt something inside her, the way I did. There was a loud bumping and scraping noise outside. I thought that I shouldn’t let my emotions take hold, and that I needed to keep my head cool when deciding how to proceed with Nadia. I couldn’t let this girl go to my head and make me lose my focus. Someone honked their car horn behind me.

Hearing the horn pulled me back into the moment, and I realized that something must have happened outside. “Did someone bump into someone else back there?” I thought. I stopped the van and stepped out, my curiosity getting the best of me. Walking back past the rear of the van I saw that someone did, in fact, cause an incident. The bumper of a Mercedes convertible that was parked next to where my van had been was taken clean off. No other car was to be seen, except for a truck parked a couple spots away, with a man sitting in it and looking at me. That’s when I realized what had happened. I walked up closer to the man in his truck.

“Was that me?”

“Yes,” he replied.

“Perfect.”

I realized that while I was distracted I didn’t notice that there was a car parked next to me, and began turning out of my spot too early. I clipped its bumper with the side of my van and took it right off without even noticing. After a quick prayer, I walked inside the restaurant to look for the damaged vehicle’s owner.

Long story short, I walked out of the incident without any issues. My employer’s insurance would cover the loss for the lady who owned the Mercedes. After everything was settled, I was sent back to the dispatch center to turn in my van and was dismissed for the day with a warning.

On my way back home, my mind continued racing. I realized that I was falling for this girl, and we hadn’t even known each other for a week. I was worried and excited. My heart was filled with relief about the day’s incident, and hope for the days to come…